Loved
making someone feel seen, heard, and understood is the loudest way to love them — wild faith
My mom raised me to be a good listener. Before I knew the terms “active listener” or “mirroring.”
She taught me to truly hear what the other person was saying and respond. To use eye contact and body language to signify openness and welcome. To not be the type of conversationalist who is just thinking about what I want to say next or how to trump the other person’s story with an even better one. To engage, ask good questions, and converse with people of any age.
Little did she or I know that God was using that to prepare me.
To be a good friend (sometimes too good because after all, I need to be heard too and I’m learning to say no to relationships where I’m unheard).
To be a wife and life partner (communication is the bedrock of a good marriage).
To be a good police officer (a career where I spend the majority of my time listening to the most tangled, devastating, and worst parts of people’s lives).
But being a good listener has also translated into the ways I show love to others. And one of those is through gifts.
I just love the quest to find a gift for someone that speaks to who they are, what they value, and what they love. Listening, seeing, and understanding someone helps me love them better. I love seeing eyes light up and the joy when they truly feel seen.
This also means that it’s hard for me when someone gifts me something that doesn’t fit me or who I am as a person. It makes me feel unseen. And sometimes I feel guilty for that. I appreciate their efforts to try to love but it falls short.
So it’s really, really powerful for me when someone else gets me. Sees me. Hears me. And that is expressed in a gift or a gesture. Or a simple, “I saw this and thought of you.”
This week, Valentine’s week, I got to show love and be loved. I sent texts and verses to single friends. I surprised my niece with a stuffy that she absolutely loved. I heard from a friend that she has been using the facial balm I gave her for Christmas and she loves it so much that she’s reordering it.
My husband surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of red roses. And yes, I know you’re thinking how very traditional. But my husband rarely buys me flowers. He doesn’t like them and it’s not how he likes to show me love. So when he does buy them for me, it’s that much more meaningful because he went out of his way to buy me something he doesn’t like.
My friend is in London this week. I’ve never had the opportunity to go but I love the flowers that bloom in the UK’s moderate climate. I’ve lived in harsh winter climates my entire life so flowers in the winter is such an amazing concept to me. She remembered this and went out of her way to find blooming snowdrops and send me photos.
I met another friend for dinner tonight. We exchanged very belated birthday gifts. She gave me four items that spoke to the character qualities she sees in me. One of those was resilience, and she knows what a difficult year 2025 was for me. We’ve been friends for several years and we talk on the phone every day but this is the first time we’ve exchanged birthday gifts. I felt so seen and valued for who I am.
And the earthly love we experience is just a shadow of what it means to be loved by God.
Loved with an everlasting love.
A love who gave Himself as a sacrifice so that He could remove our transgressions as far as the east is from the west.
A love that we can never be separated from.
A love that never ends.
A love that has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.
A love that calls us beloved.
Lily, our grandparents loved to give us the same gifts for Christmas and our birthdays because they knew how alike we were. So often, those gifts were books. And we’d read them and discuss them together. I miss that. I miss you. I hope you know how much you’re loved.
Hugs,
Daisy